Confusius Says

Man who run in front of car, get tired.

Man who run behind car, get exhausted.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.

Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who sleep in cathouse by day, sleep in doghouse by night.

Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.

Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out.

It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who sit on tack get point.

Man who lives in glass house should change in basement.

He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.

Man who eat jellybeans fart in living colour.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.