..... Deep Thoughts .....

FOR THOSE WHO TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
11. Remember that half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest
17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes
28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking
30. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it
39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research
40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles
44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard
45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up
46. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
47. Change is inevitable except from vending machines
48. Get a new car for your spouse- it'll be a great trade!
49. Plan to be spontaneous- tomorrow.
50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments
52. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
53. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener
54. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.